Getting Our BUTs in Gear 2014

Hi, friends!  I'm back and I'm hoping the share this post so much and get so many people on board with this idea that I've had that there will be no print, just words and an invitation today. :)

This year has started less than stellar.  My goal has been to focus more on the positive in 2014 and I think God is trying me mightily--He wants to see if I am serious.  And since I am, I've had an idea growing inside of me.  I hope that it is something that each of you will consider doing along with me so that we can strengthen one another as women.  And I guess men are more than welcome to join as well. ;)

So, as I've struggled the last week through the second illness of the year, I had a thought come to my mind.  I had been watching this video about girls who were participants, along with their mothers, in a study of what beauty is.  I was incredibly saddened as I listened to girls talk about things that had been said to them and women talk about issues they didn't want to perpetuate in their daughters.  The end up having this amazing photo gallery where people come and write nice things on their undoctored "selfie" shots. It was nice.  Why can't we be like that all the time?  Genuinely kind in our comments?

Then I watched this video about women who have overcome different life trials and want to seek the good.  Could I be the same as woman #2 who really couldn't brag about myself for a minute?  Hmmm...

Lastly, I watched the video below.  I love the message and I knew I needed to be reclaimed...



I started thinking about how I self talk.  You know, what you say about yourself.  I am really proud of some of the things I accomplish, but I don't always admit it to myself and I rarely share good news with anyone beside my husband.  Sometimes my family and a few close friends, but now very many people.  Isn't that a shame?!  What an opportunity to share with others how good God is to me and how He has blessed my life!  What a selfish way to thank Him.  I also thought about all the unkind things I internalize on a daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute basis and realized that it was the same selfishness.  I am a daughter of God.  He made me.  He loves me.  And I am enough as I try daily to better myself.  I need to share that more, too!

After that, I started thinking about how my attitude towards myself is reflected in how I view others.  I realized that I will grudgingly allow certain people their "one good quality" and then list in my mind all the things I dislike about them at times.  I'm sure you've done it, too.  If not, good for you!  PLEASE JOIN THIS--I need your help!  It's time for me to get my BUTs in gear.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about.  I don't particularly like everything that everyone around me does all the time.  But guess what, we're human, right?  Well, I've gotten into this habit of saying things like, "Well I know she helps in such and such a way, BUT ALL THESE BAD THINGS SHE DID (to me or others) DON'T BALANCE THAT 'one good quality' OUT."

Hmmm...judging.  Yep.  THAT IS JUDGING.  And it is NOT ok.  What if, instead, when someone did something HUMAN (like I do, right), I said, "She did this bad thing that I don't like, BUT she does all these good things!"  That sounds so much nicer.  And so much more positive!

My goal is to eventually get rid of BUTs and only see the good.  It will be hard.  If this month has proven anything to me, IT WILL BE HARD.  BUT (this is a good one of those), I think it will be worth it.  I've learned that the hardest things I've done have been the most rewarding.

So, here's my invitation to you.  Join me!  Each Friday, I'll add a linky to my BUTs post where you can add a story or short post, or whatever you like from anywhere you can link from that will encourage us to get our BUTs in gear.  It could be a story on how you learned to love yourself that week.  Or you child(ren), or someone around you.  Husband love!  Neighbor love!  EVERYONE love!  Let's get our lives reclaimed by God so that His love can shine through us and we can be a power for GOOD in a world that so desperately needs it!

I hope you join me!  If you'd like to, please add a link to your blog or other online presence below so that I can leave you some love!  I want to make this HUGE, so please grab the blog badge up top and add it to your blog--it should be linked back to here, but if not, let me know  Let's get our BUTs in gear in 2014, all!

I'll be back on Friday with by first BIG (BUTs in Gear) post!  Hope you join me again then! :)

I'm linking this up with: Time Warp Wife, Growing Home: Teach Me Tuesday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Wise Woman Link Up.

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My life is NOT my own...

I'd like to talk today about our lives, but first I'm going to share with you a print that I've made using this week's sketch at Inkspirational challenges.

The sketch~

Here's the print~

I hear a lot of people saying things like, "It's MY life." I'm sure I've said it myself a few times!  There's just one problem.  That's a lie.  Our lives are most definitely not our own.  We were created by a loving Heavenly Father who has given us life and everything we have. Our immortality was bought with a price--the Atonement of our Savior.  We read in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 23 that we are all bought with a price and then are commanded not to be servants of men.  Whom do we serve then?  God.

We also learn in the Book of Mormon more in depth about the huge debt of gratitude we owe our Father in Heaven.  King Benjamin, a prophet in ancient America, explains it much better than I can.  Here is what he says in Mosiah chapter 2 verses 20-25:

"I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—

I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him.

And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?

And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the earth; yet ye were created of the dust of the earth; but behold, it belongeth to him who created you."

When I read this passage of scripture, I realize how selfish I am when I choose to serve someone or something other than God.  I do this whenever I put my wishes ahead of His work that I've been asked to do.  Whenever I do not keep my covenant to follow Him and to do as my Savior would in all situations.  Whenever I feel that I need to watch the television instead of visiting the member I feel needs to feel of God's love.  Whenever I use my money to purchase things that will not help in building God's kingdom instead of paying my tithing.  The list goes on. Each sin--whether or omission or commission--is an example of how we can be an unprofitable servant. 

While none of us are perfect, I truly believe that we can all  try to serve God with our whole souls each and every day.  We do this when we repent and try to do better every step of our journey here on this earth.  We are bought with a price--do we realize what this means?  We can utilize the Atonement each and every time we prove ourselves to be unprofitable servants and then strive to do better!  The hardest part is the striving and trying to do better continually.  We are never truly repentant until we root out our sins--and this is also the only way to gain true happiness and peace in this life.  More about that in another post coming soon. :)

I am so grateful to be a servant of God.  I feel so blessed to know that I am bought by my Savior's Atonement so that I can gain eternal life if I repent continually and endure to the end.  I hope that each and every one of us will strive to do better each day and to remember and give thanks to our Father--we owe Him everything for He has given us everything.

Please feel free to use this scripture printable for PERSONAL USE ONLY.  For more information regarding printing policies and disclosures, please see the tab up top.  Happy printing!

Trials of Faith

Well, it's been a little while since I last posted a General Conference quote and I think I'd better hurry up or else I won't have them all posted before April's conference rolls around, lol! ;)

Here's the print~

So, today I'm sharing thoughts about "Trial of Your Faith" by Elder Neil L. Andersen.  This talk really struck me as I read it and I think that today is the perfect day to talk about it because I've had "one of those" weeks.  We all have them, but let me give you some background.

Some facts you need to know to understand where I'm coming from that contributed to my mini trial of faith:
1. My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for about 7 years.
2. We are in the process of getting out of debt after a fraud hit our bank account a few years ago.
3. I have been suffering this week from severe insomnia and haven't had much sleep.
4. I work in a high stress job with children who are severely mentally disabled.  LOVE them, just a very hard (but very rewarding) job.

Okay, so now that you know those four things, let me tell you about my week/the past few months.  My husband and I started discussing our desire to be temple workers about 18 months ago.  We prayed about it and felt that it would be a good decision, but I was taking fertility medication to help us get pregnant and so my hormones and blood sugar levels were being messed with.  We decided that I needed to go off the medication so that we could proceed with our plan, but it was hard to give up the thought that maybe we'd get pregnant.  Finally, in September 2012, I went off the medication and we decided that perhaps we are not meant to be parents of our own children in this life.  It was a very hard decision and sometimes I still wonder if we are doing the right thing and second guess it, so that stress is always present in my life.

A few weeks after ending the medication and after we had discussed the idea again, a sweet sister in our ward, who also works at the temple, came up to me after sacrament meeting and told me that she had an application for us to fill out and an invitation from the temple president to become temple workers.  I am not a sign seeker, but if there is a clearer sign that we were on the right track, I can't think of one!

So, we set up an appointment with our bishop.  He's only been bishop for one week and had only been in the ward for about two months.  All three of us had no clue what we were doing, but we got it together and were able to proceed to the next step--an interview with the stake president.  That would prove to be easier said than done...

After trying to get an appointment for about 3 months, we finally were able to see the stake president a couple of weeks ago and he told us that he would send the paper work on to the temple.  We were excited and a little bit apprehensive.

Fast forward one more week.  That would be this past week.  I had been having severe insomnia issues and other emotional issues dealing with our infertility issues and was also incredibly stressed out with work.  We hadn't heard back from the temple president and so I tearfully told my husband that maybe this was a sign that we shouldn't be temple workers.  He reassured me that we were trying to do something good and that he would call to see what was going on.  We were planning on going to the temple tomorrow (Saturday) because it is our ward temple day, but my husband had promised to help clean the building.

So, my husband worked it out that we would be able to make it in time for one session if he went early with another brother in our ward and did some cleaning earlier.  He also called the temple and was told that we would be set apart when we came down for our ward temple day.  To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement.  I had been toying with the idea of not going because I have had literally about only 4 hours of sleep a night plus work and other things that I've had to do.  I told my husband that I thought we were making a mistake.  He reassured me that we were not and that every little thing would be taken care of.

It was.  I was finally able to get a full night's sleep last night, wake up and get all I needed to done and MORE, plus I am actually very excited to go down and be set apart as a temple worker with my husband tomorrow. 

Some other blessings that have helped me this week as I've gone through my mini trial of faith:
1. We found out that our tax return would be enough for us to pay off the debt that occurred when then fraud hit our bank account.
2. Because of the debt being paid off, I will be able to quit at the end of the school year so that we can serve more in the temple.
3. I was able to finally sleep last night.  I know I already said it, but seriously, this REALLY helped me.
4. We were able to have the missionaries in our home for dinner.  I don't know why, but this always makes me happier.
5. Each person that I've had to explain about our new calling has been so incredibly excited for us.

So, dear sisters (and brothers), I have had my testimony strengthened not only by personal experience this week, but also by the words of our living prophets.  I feel so blessed that I could just burst into song!  Except that each time I do, I find myself crying with joy.  What a blessing the gospel is in my life!

Please feel free to save the print above and use it for PERSONAL USE ONLY.  Other disclaimers and printing policies can be found in the tab up top.  HUGS and happy printing, friends! :)

Thoughts on Marriage: A Tribute to My Fabulous Husband

 I've been quite remiss in my General Conference and Sunday School studies...I need to do better!  And so, I shall.  

I have just read Elder Boyd K. Packers talk from the past Saturday morning session of General Conference and, while I very much enjoy the whole talk, I would like to talk about the opening quote because it really struck me.

Elder Packer says, " Husbands and wives should understand that their first calling—from which they will never be released—is to one another and then to their children."

The part I want to focus on from that quote is the truth that husbands' and wives' first calling is to one another.  I am blessed to be in a very loving marriage.  I know this is largely due to my DH who is constantly willing to sacrifice for me and our family.  I've decided to make a printable using this quote, and I'd like to share it with you.

Here it is~

We have been unable to have children in our 8 years of marriage, we have experienced things that should have torn us apart.  The reason that they didn't?  We believe in the power of the marriage and sealing covenants that we made in the temple.

 Let me tell you a few tales from our precious 8 years that have effected me to my soul.  I am hoping that by writing a few of these experiences that someone else will be helped and not make the same mistakes I've made.  I'm thinking these thoughts have come to mind because one of my younger sisters is getting married at the beginning of August.  I think I'll tell her to read this... ;D

Romance?

When we were first married, my DH didn't ever bring me flowers or chocolates.  I was a bit appalled.  Why wasn't he concerned about showing me how much he loved me?  As you guessed, this was my selfish feelings getting the better of me.  As I prayed to know that my husband, shy by nature and incredibly quiet, really did love me, I came to know him better through the Holy Ghost.  My Father in Heaven is also the Father of my DH.  He taught me things about my husband that I was unable to see with my limited view of romance and love.  I realized that my husband loved me more than I could ever know.  He showed his love not by bringing me flowers and chocolates, but by serving me.

"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17

I was too naive to realize at the time that the best husband to have was one that put God first.  As my DH served me each day by helping with housework and listening and talking to me, he was putting God first by serving his wife.  How wonderful I felt when I realized that the love my husband had for me would be truly lasting and would not fade with time!  It wasn't based on looks or the thrill of gift giving.  My DH wanted our marriage to be based on service to one another and ultimately to God.  I am eternally grateful for my DH's willingness to serve.  He serves not only me, but anyone around him that is need of service.  Because of his example, I have come to find even greater joy in serving those around me.  And we are happy serving together!

Lessons learned: Service is the greatest form of love that we can show one towards another--especially in a marriage.  The world's view of romance is not lasting--the only love that lasts is love given from God.  We find this love through service.

I'm free!

 

 I tend to be incredibly strong willed.  That's a nice way of saying stubborn.  I like to make my own choices and to do what I like to do.  Since I am the oldest of 9 children, I did learn from living with 11 people in one home to work with others and to share, etc. for which I am eternally grateful.  I have no idea what I would be like if I didn't have parents who taught me these principles.  Seriously.  It would be B-A-D.

Anyway, I was sooooo excited to get married and leave home because it would mean more time doing what I wanted to do!  Right? WRONG.  I learned very s-l-o-w-l-y the importance of spending quality time with my DH.  I started out our marriage still spending a lot of time with my friends.  I didn't want to be one of "those" people who ignored their lives when they were first married.  I used my personal day off of work to not go on a date with my husband of less than a year, but to go and spend time with my friends.  I felt that since we were the only 2 in our family, we didn't need to have family home evening and I could still go to Single's Ward activities with my single friends on Monday nights.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24

Now, should you have NO friends when you are married?  Of course not!  But I realize now looking back that I spent too much time with friends, leaving my DH at home to do all the housework, because I felt like I was entitled to this since I was working full time and going to school part time while my husband was working only part time...forgetting that he was going to school full time and therefore working just as hard, if not harder, than myself. My DH never complained--he has always supported me in what I want to do and let me come to my own realizations about how to spend my time, even when I know that he really wanted to spend time with me.  This was a commandment from God.  I was making it very hard for him to keep this commandment.  He has taught me so much about compromising and the importance of spending TIME in a marriage together.

Lessons learned: Spending time with family should trump spending time with friends.  Both partners in a marriage should be considered and have a say when one of them would like to do something and a compromise should take place. Quality time is essential in a marriage--if you don't see each other, what is the point of being married?!  This is a commandment from God.

Nagging is NOT helpful...

Yes.  I used to nag my DH at times.  It was never all the time, but when I had asked him to do something once, I felt that nagging was justified.  I had asked him once, right?  He is a grown adult that should KNOW what to do!  This took place quite a bit in the first few months of our marriage.

Side note--I just realized I should ask my DH if I could post this...he asked exactly what I was writing about and I told him.  He wants me to tell you that I am not a nagging wife.  Isn't he precious?! ;)  He really is the best husband...

" A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1

Okay, back to my nagging!  It really bothered me that my husband wasn't doing what I asked him (okay, told him) to do!  What was wrong with him?!  NOT.  What was wrong with ME.  I prayed about what to do about my less than patient attitude towards my DH.  You know what God told me?  I needed to realize that I was the problem.  My DH and I grew up in completely different families and learned how to do things in different ways.  Also, men and women are different.  THEY ARE.  We think differently and react differently to situations.  I decided to lighten up.

You know what happened?  I became A LOT happier!  I saw that if I asked my DH to do something for me, he would.  It might not happen right away, but it got done!  If I didn't watch him clean the bathroom, I didn't have to worry about HOW it got clean.  And it was still clean after he finished--probably cleaner than when I did it!

Lessons learned: Allow people to use their agency!  It's too hard to worry about someone else AND yourself when it comes to daily tasks when all involved are adults.  YES.  Men are adults.  They are not like women and react to things differently.  Allow them to have their differences and embrace them!  They even us out. 

And the last one...

Accepting Help & Staying Positive

As I stated before, I am stubborn.  Along with being stubborn, I tend to feel that when one thing goes wrong, everything is going to be horrendous.  WRONG.

My DH told me that when he asked permission from my parents to marry me (he really did) that my father told him that I needed help in this area.  My DH did not tell me this until just a few years ago.  Good thing!  I think I would've been livid and/or depressed that I couldn't be positive, lol!

I realize now looking back to the beginning of our marriage that I brought a lot of stress into our relationship by being incredibly stressed out by every day situations.  Things happen in life--I don't like it when things don't happen according to my plan.  Luckily, my DH continually has shown me a good example of staying calm and finding the good in the situation.  He also will say things like, "At least {this} didn't happen!  This could've been much worse!"  As I stated before, my husband is by nature very shy and quiet.  He would NEVER force anyone to do anything--even if he felt it was in their best interest.  He is a perfect example of gentleness and meekness when persuading others to do right.

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned..." Doctrine & Covenants 121:41

Because my DH doesn't force me to do things he thinks are right for me, I was able to see his example and to eventually soften to counsel that I would seek from him.  This really helped when we went to the doctor and were informed that we may not be able to ever have children.  My first thought after being told this was, "At least we have each other."  A few year prior to this, I would never have thought this.  My life would've been over.  I will always be grateful to my DH for his long suffering attitude towards helping me.  He continues to do this and I cannot express enough gratitude for this.

Lessons learned: Be willing to take righteous counsel from your righteous spouse.  Recognize that LIFE happens and that it's not the end of the world.  You can overcome all obstacles as marriage partners fully converted and dedicated to living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Hopefully these stories will help other young women to realize their roles in their marriage and encourage them to strengthen their relationships with their husbands.  Nothing can bring as much happiness as a righteous marriage built upon gospel principles.  This is our first and most important calling in life!  Being married ROCKS, y'all! :)

Linking this post to Tell Me A Story, Word Art Wednesday, Titus 2sdays.

WAW: Matthew 5:16 & LBB: Priorities

Hi, friends!  I've been MIA from my blogs for a couple of days due to other obligations.  I was bemoaning the fact earlier today in my head  but realized that I had been doing the BEST of what I needed to do!  I was so happy to see that Abby over at Little Birdie Blessings (Scripture Thursday) was writing about the same subject!

Here's how my week has gone: Monday--time with my brother and  husband and a little blogging (DT obligations); Tuesday--an older sister from our church needed help with a job application that took almost three times as long as I thought it would, some friends needed to talk, I crafted and blogged; Wednesday--time with my DH's family, practiced the piano, making wedding invitations for my BIL and future SIL, dinner and more time with DH's family, NO blogging; Thursday--helped a sister from church with some things for girl's camp, practiced the piano, made dinner and dessert for my brother and DH, now blogging!

So, when I looked at it, I've blogged nearly every day except yesterday.  I was able to help a lot of people with things that I know God needed me to help them with, and I have felt productive EVERY SINGLE DAY.  That is HUGE for me during the summer!!!  I work for the school district here, and so I work full time from mid-August to the end of May.  Last summer my depression was very bad because of my lack of feeling involved.  How awesome is it that my prayers for seeing others' needs and for MY need to feel productive have been answered!  It reminded me of a talk that was given in our church's general conference a little while back about choosing the best part.  You can find the whole talk, intitled "Of Things That Matter Most", here.

Here's my favorite part of the talk~

"If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most." --Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Isn't that a beautiful quote?!  And what is more important that doing what God wants us to do?  I can't think of anything more important than serving God by serving our fellow men daily.  This starts in our homes and then can reach outward to encompass our community, our city, our state, our world.  And the scripture for this week's Word Art Wednesday is a perfect reminder of what God wants for each of us to do with the light He has given us.

Here's my interpretation (click to see it full size)~

This scripture also reminds my of one of my favorite hymns called "Have I Done Any Good?"

Here are the words~

Have I Done Any Good?

Have I done any good in the world today?

Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”
But go and do something today.
’Tis noble of man to work and to give;
Love’s labor has merit alone.
Only he who does something helps others to live.
To God each good work will be known.

 Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,

A blessing of duty and love.

At the request of Wendy at Each Card Tells a Story, I'm linking this up with Scripture Sunday, as well!  Thank you, Wendy, for stopping by and leaving your sweet comment! :)

Thank you for stopping by and reading my musings.  At least, I hope you read them! ;)  Feel free to click on the digital print, save it, and use it FOR PERSONAL USE.  It measures 4"x6".  I hope that you find joy this week in serving those around you!  See you again soon!