Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I'm offended!

I'm not really, I just wanted a catchy title.  Plus, I really want to have this discussion.  So I hope you will comment--constructively!

I've been thinking A LOT lately about different choice that can be made.  I do that sometimes...ok, all the time.  I analyze things and try to become better.  I really do.  I pray each day to know what Heavenly Father would like me to change and do differently and better.  It works.  I LOVE it.  I highly recommend it.

I feel like I'm digressing, let me get back to my point.  I find it interesting to observe how people react to each other.  I know that everyone is different but have you noticed that there are a few major personality types that emerge when people become offended? This has lead me to analyze myself when I become offended.

These are the four main reactions I see when someone is offended (for whatever reason):

1. The easy goer: This person just lets it roll off their back and continues to do the best they can.  They wonder if maybe there is truth in what was said.  If not, they just take it with a grain of salt for later use if needed.  They like to give people the benefit of the doubt and they are confident in their abilities as a child of God.  Sometimes they ask advice about situations from others, but people aren't mentioned, just situations and ideas.

2. The ignorer: This person ignores everything that offends them, but it bugs them in the back of their brain.  They try to come up with a solution, but when nothing comes, they shove their feelings down deep and ignore those, too.  Ignoring it usually ends in a huge blow up at some point.  Sometimes at someone who has nothing to do with the situation.

3. The whiner: This person just has to tell everyone and their dog about what happened.  The goal isn't to find a constructive solution, just to get everyone as miserable as they are.  While it is necessary to sometimes talk things out, to do so without a goal of finding a constructive fix is painfully pointless.  And sad.  And eventually lonely.

4. The destroyer: This person not only whines about what they feel is offensive, they actively seek to destroy other people.  Usually the person that offended them at first, but then they slowly section themselves off and do not see a need for change in themselves.  They want everyone to hate the offender--and if someone doesn't, everyone needs to hate that person, too.  This is the most vicious cycle.  And the destroyer is never happy and will never succeed because having that type of negative influence around is too much for anyone to handle all the time.

Ok, so after I had defined these ways of handling "offenses", I took a good hard look at myself.  I decided that any time I think I'm offended, I need to ask myself a few questions and then come to conclusions that logically follow the questions.  It turned into a flow chart thingy...

What do you think?  The one thing I didn't add was "difference of opinion" but I think that kinda goes along with "The person didn't mean it..." one because most people don't mean to have their opinions be offensive, and each is entitled to their own! Differences make us stronger, not weaker!

I also put the "I am doing something wrong" one at the top because I usually am not offended by a ton of stuff so if it's because I'm in the wrong, I need to change ASAP!

So, what are your thoughts on the subject?  How do you deal with being offended?  I really want to know--I want to learn more strategies to become better at handling it and becoming a happier person! :)  Comment below--I can't wait to read your ideas!

1 comment:

Carole Robb Bisson said...

Sometime we just have to forgive by faith, walk in love and not tell anyone. Blessings Carole
PS very good points