Seeking Holiness

Happy Sunday, friends! I have been doing a lot of self reflection as of late. Parent teacher conference time always brings that out in me. I try to determine if I am finding ways to make sure student strengths are being utilized to help them overcome weaknesses or areas of concern. I also try to examine if I am doing the same for myself. The only way to do this is by relying on the Lord to lead me to change.

As I've been pondering this, I have been reading the account of Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah. They certainly changed. Sometimes I wonder if I really am capable of that type of immense character change. Other times, I look back and can't believe how much I've changed in general! I firmly believe that all these changes need to be leading me back to God. Enter the Lord, yet again, and this conference talk!

If the changes I am making are not leading me towards holiness, which is a word I need to think about more, then they are not changes that are being approved by the Lord. This can get tricky, I think. Especially when other people want to judge our actions and have all sorts of opinions about what we do or think or feel. (If you don't believe me, just go to a blog on any topic that has a larger following than this one and read the comments. YIKES!)

If I can lay down at night, feel that I have done my best, and have peace given to me by the Lord from His Spirit, then I think I am on the right track. I have had times in my life when I have not received guidance from the Spirit because of my actions, and it is not pretty. I am SO thankful to have Heavenly Father's guidance on a daily basis, helping me to do my best in all facets of my life.

Thanks for sticking with the post this week. I know it was very stream-of-conscious. I encourage you to do some self-reflecting on a regular basis. I truly believe that this is a fundamental part of the repentance process and one of the ways Heavenly Father can guide us. Let me know how your time spent doing so goes, should you feel the need! Until next week, sending peaceful wishes for a Spirit-filled week!

False Prophets, Sometimes Known as Friends

There was an interesting conversation going on recently about false prophets and our need to stay away from them.  I understand that many people in leadership positions can lead people astray, but I think that in order to avoid false prophets, we need to know what the term really means.  I believe it's more than those in power leading their followers astray.  I think it happens on a daily basis in our lives if we are not careful.

I find the verse I used in my header very insightful.  It comes from The Book of Mormon in 3 Nephi 14:15.  The full verse reads, "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." If we think about this verse, a false prophet is just someone who really doesn't want what is best for you.  Do you let these people into your life?  Are you one of these people?

There are a few ways that people act as false prophets in our lives and we allow it, as well as ways we act as false prophets to others.  This is something that I am working on now ever since I had this thought.  Here are some ways I believe we or other people act as false prophets that we might not consider:

1. Supporting each other in unkind feelings.
2. Telling someone they would be justified in abusive acts, whether emotional, verbal, or physical.
3. Laughing at actions that are not funny.  I'm not talking about someone tripping and they start the laughing, I'm talking laughing at a sarcastic comment that was made after someone tried to bear their soul.  Or laughing at a joke that was told in bad taste.  You get the drift.
4. Expressing blanket statements as if they are truth for everyone.  We all have our own journey, worry about yours more than others.
5. Refusing to see the other side of a story.

I could go on, but these are the things I've been thinking of lately.  There is a reason why these constitute actions of false prophets.  It's because they are perpetuating false doctrines and are not Christlike.  False prophets speak false principles.

Now, I'm not sitting here judging others from some castle where I feel that I am better than others.  I fall into these same issues at times in my life as well.  The question is, what can we do about it?  I think the answer is simple to state, but hard to truly put into action.  The answer is this: Love One Another.

That's all for me today.  I've disabled comments again because this post is meant for reflection.  If you'd like to email me your thoughts, you may do so.  I'll be back soon with another post!

Forgiveness: The World vs. The Lord

"And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace 

of them that make peace."

~James 3:18

This past week in Sunday School we were having a discussion about Joseph in Egypt (one of my all time favorite stories) in the book of Genesis and an interesting thing happened to me.  This question was raised: How does the worlds belief about forgiveness differ from the Lord's belief about forgiveness?

I raised my hand.  I thought I knew what to say.  Instead, I said something completely different.  It was like I was just saying things that were there and I hadn't realized it.  I'd like to share it with you and then, at the end, I've included the information as a table for study. :)

I had three points from each side that contrast each other come spilling out of my mouth.  I didn't go in depth, I just stated, "The world says that someone has to ask forgiveness.  The Lord tells us they do not need to in order for you to forgive.  The world tells you that someone has to make things perfectly whole and right again.  The Lords invites us to see that He already has.  The world tells you if the offense is committed again, you don't have to forgive them a second time.  The Lord tells us seventy times seven."  I'd like to delve a bit deeper into these points.

1)  The world says that someone has to ask forgiveness before you can forgive.  The Lord does not agree.  He says you can forgive even without an apology.  Let's take a look at some examples of this in the scriptures.  In Doctrine & Covenants 64:10, the Lord tell us, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (emphasis added)  There is not qualifier in that statement from the Lord.  All literally means all, whether they have apologized or not.  Another example of this can be found at the end of our Savior's life.  As Jesus was hanging on the cross, suffering for each one of us and the sins that we so frequently commit, He spoke these words to His Father (who is our Father as well), "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do..." (Luke 23:24).  If you read prior to this statement, you will find no apology, either sincere or snide, from those who harmed Him.  The Savior expects us to live by His example.  This means that we are held to a higher standard.  We must forgive all men, as He did, no matter what they do and whether or not there is an apology.

2)  The world says that the person has to make things right.  It tells us that if things aren't made right, we will never be whole and will be unable to find peace.  The Lord tells us He already has made things right and that we can find complete peace in a world that rarely feels a moment of it.  Some scriptural back up for my point--in Doctrine & Covenants 50:41-42 reads, "Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost."  A powerful promise. Christ teaches in Matthew 11:29-30, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."  And in John 14:27 we learn this from the Savior, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  When we follow Christ's example of ready forgiveness, all is right.  Our burdens are lifted. We find peace.

3)  The world would tell us that if we forgive once, and the offense is committed against us again, it is unforgivable.  The Lord has very different math.  Peter asked this of the Lord in Matthew 18:21, "Then came Peter unto him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?"  I think we all know the response.  Matthew 18:22, "Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."  I will put a short disclaimer in here and say that we are agents to act and not be acted upon (see HERE, especially under Component Number Three: Inviting Children to Act for more on that subject).  Whenever we are in a situation where we are being continually hurt, we must shoulder some of the blame and work to not put ourselves in that situation.  This may be radical thinking, but even those who are in serious abusive situations have the power to leave.  Christ will bolster you.  He will carry you.  Take action.  The only instance I feel this does not apply to is when a child or some other frail person who is unable to care for themselves and is completely dependent upon another for life is being abused.

I'm not here to say that I am the perfect example of forgiveness or the perfect example of righteous living.  I am just here to share with you a little knowledge that I learned in Sunday School this past Sabbath.  I personally have had experiences with each of these three items of concern.  I also have come to know that the Savior's Atonement will make up for all that I lack and for all that is done to me in error.  

I also believe what we are taught about judgement and forgiveness (see HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.)  When we forgive freely and without malice, frankly as Nephi did, we are becoming more like our Savior and more fit for the Kingdom of God.  I know that forgiveness is part of Christ like charity.

May we ever forgive those around us so that our lives may be filled with peace is my humble desire and wish.  God bless you all!

You can find the chart I told you about HERE.  Feel free to download it and use it for your personal use.  If you find any other wonderful scriptures, I would LOVE to have you share them here in the comments!

I'm offended!

I'm not really, I just wanted a catchy title.  Plus, I really want to have this discussion.  So I hope you will comment--constructively!

I've been thinking A LOT lately about different choice that can be made.  I do that sometimes...ok, all the time.  I analyze things and try to become better.  I really do.  I pray each day to know what Heavenly Father would like me to change and do differently and better.  It works.  I LOVE it.  I highly recommend it.

I feel like I'm digressing, let me get back to my point.  I find it interesting to observe how people react to each other.  I know that everyone is different but have you noticed that there are a few major personality types that emerge when people become offended? This has lead me to analyze myself when I become offended.

These are the four main reactions I see when someone is offended (for whatever reason):

1. The easy goer: This person just lets it roll off their back and continues to do the best they can.  They wonder if maybe there is truth in what was said.  If not, they just take it with a grain of salt for later use if needed.  They like to give people the benefit of the doubt and they are confident in their abilities as a child of God.  Sometimes they ask advice about situations from others, but people aren't mentioned, just situations and ideas.

2. The ignorer: This person ignores everything that offends them, but it bugs them in the back of their brain.  They try to come up with a solution, but when nothing comes, they shove their feelings down deep and ignore those, too.  Ignoring it usually ends in a huge blow up at some point.  Sometimes at someone who has nothing to do with the situation.

3. The whiner: This person just has to tell everyone and their dog about what happened.  The goal isn't to find a constructive solution, just to get everyone as miserable as they are.  While it is necessary to sometimes talk things out, to do so without a goal of finding a constructive fix is painfully pointless.  And sad.  And eventually lonely.

4. The destroyer: This person not only whines about what they feel is offensive, they actively seek to destroy other people.  Usually the person that offended them at first, but then they slowly section themselves off and do not see a need for change in themselves.  They want everyone to hate the offender--and if someone doesn't, everyone needs to hate that person, too.  This is the most vicious cycle.  And the destroyer is never happy and will never succeed because having that type of negative influence around is too much for anyone to handle all the time.

Ok, so after I had defined these ways of handling "offenses", I took a good hard look at myself.  I decided that any time I think I'm offended, I need to ask myself a few questions and then come to conclusions that logically follow the questions.  It turned into a flow chart thingy...

What do you think?  The one thing I didn't add was "difference of opinion" but I think that kinda goes along with "The person didn't mean it..." one because most people don't mean to have their opinions be offensive, and each is entitled to their own! Differences make us stronger, not weaker!

I also put the "I am doing something wrong" one at the top because I usually am not offended by a ton of stuff so if it's because I'm in the wrong, I need to change ASAP!

So, what are your thoughts on the subject?  How do you deal with being offended?  I really want to know--I want to learn more strategies to become better at handling it and becoming a happier person! :)  Comment below--I can't wait to read your ideas!

Leaven: Good, Bad, Indifferent?

My husband and I had a discussion the other day about leaven.  Galatians 5:9 reads, "A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump."  So, what does this mean?  After reading in the Bible dictionary about leaven, I had two thoughts.

I feel that most scriptures can be applied two ways--personally and for the world as a whole.  It is up to each of us to decide how to take each scripture into our hearts and utilize them in our lives.

For me as an individual, this scripture tells me that if I want to make changes in my life, even small changes for the better will make my life as a whole better.

What I learned about the world in this scripture verse is that it takes just a small amount of people striving to do the right thing to make a huge impact on the world.  I think of Abraham pleading with the Lord to save Sodom & Gomorrah for the righteous' sake.  God was willing to save the city if there were even just 10 righteous people found.  A righteous soul must be an incredibly strong force for good!

So, what do you think?  What are your feelings on this verse? I hope that you've found mine to be a little uplifting--then it will leaven your whole soul!

Please feel free to take this print as a reminder that small things can bring about big changes for good.  Make sure to use it for PERSONAL USE ONLY, though please!  HUGS and happy Wednesday to you all!

Getting Our BUTs in Gear 2014

Hi, friends!  I'm back and I'm hoping the share this post so much and get so many people on board with this idea that I've had that there will be no print, just words and an invitation today. :)

This year has started less than stellar.  My goal has been to focus more on the positive in 2014 and I think God is trying me mightily--He wants to see if I am serious.  And since I am, I've had an idea growing inside of me.  I hope that it is something that each of you will consider doing along with me so that we can strengthen one another as women.  And I guess men are more than welcome to join as well. ;)

So, as I've struggled the last week through the second illness of the year, I had a thought come to my mind.  I had been watching this video about girls who were participants, along with their mothers, in a study of what beauty is.  I was incredibly saddened as I listened to girls talk about things that had been said to them and women talk about issues they didn't want to perpetuate in their daughters.  The end up having this amazing photo gallery where people come and write nice things on their undoctored "selfie" shots. It was nice.  Why can't we be like that all the time?  Genuinely kind in our comments?

Then I watched this video about women who have overcome different life trials and want to seek the good.  Could I be the same as woman #2 who really couldn't brag about myself for a minute?  Hmmm...

Lastly, I watched the video below.  I love the message and I knew I needed to be reclaimed...



I started thinking about how I self talk.  You know, what you say about yourself.  I am really proud of some of the things I accomplish, but I don't always admit it to myself and I rarely share good news with anyone beside my husband.  Sometimes my family and a few close friends, but now very many people.  Isn't that a shame?!  What an opportunity to share with others how good God is to me and how He has blessed my life!  What a selfish way to thank Him.  I also thought about all the unkind things I internalize on a daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute basis and realized that it was the same selfishness.  I am a daughter of God.  He made me.  He loves me.  And I am enough as I try daily to better myself.  I need to share that more, too!

After that, I started thinking about how my attitude towards myself is reflected in how I view others.  I realized that I will grudgingly allow certain people their "one good quality" and then list in my mind all the things I dislike about them at times.  I'm sure you've done it, too.  If not, good for you!  PLEASE JOIN THIS--I need your help!  It's time for me to get my BUTs in gear.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about.  I don't particularly like everything that everyone around me does all the time.  But guess what, we're human, right?  Well, I've gotten into this habit of saying things like, "Well I know she helps in such and such a way, BUT ALL THESE BAD THINGS SHE DID (to me or others) DON'T BALANCE THAT 'one good quality' OUT."

Hmmm...judging.  Yep.  THAT IS JUDGING.  And it is NOT ok.  What if, instead, when someone did something HUMAN (like I do, right), I said, "She did this bad thing that I don't like, BUT she does all these good things!"  That sounds so much nicer.  And so much more positive!

My goal is to eventually get rid of BUTs and only see the good.  It will be hard.  If this month has proven anything to me, IT WILL BE HARD.  BUT (this is a good one of those), I think it will be worth it.  I've learned that the hardest things I've done have been the most rewarding.

So, here's my invitation to you.  Join me!  Each Friday, I'll add a linky to my BUTs post where you can add a story or short post, or whatever you like from anywhere you can link from that will encourage us to get our BUTs in gear.  It could be a story on how you learned to love yourself that week.  Or you child(ren), or someone around you.  Husband love!  Neighbor love!  EVERYONE love!  Let's get our lives reclaimed by God so that His love can shine through us and we can be a power for GOOD in a world that so desperately needs it!

I hope you join me!  If you'd like to, please add a link to your blog or other online presence below so that I can leave you some love!  I want to make this HUGE, so please grab the blog badge up top and add it to your blog--it should be linked back to here, but if not, let me know  Let's get our BUTs in gear in 2014, all!

I'll be back on Friday with by first BIG (BUTs in Gear) post!  Hope you join me again then! :)

I'm linking this up with: Time Warp Wife, Growing Home: Teach Me Tuesday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Wise Woman Link Up.

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Doing Things the Lord's Way

It's a sad fact that people just don't always get along.  The thing that really bothers me personally is when people cannot look past what they think should be done in a situation and see the good that others do.

When we tear others down and only see bad, we are not acting like Christians.  Everyone does good but doing good doesn't necessarily mean doing is the way you would have done it.

When someone does something a different way than you would do it, that's okay.  We are all different.  BUT, when you can't look past the way YOU want things done and/or you criticize others, you are not on the Lord's side.

Here is the difference between the natural man 

and the Lord when it comes to this issue~

In conclusion, let's stop judging others.  Let's stop telling people how they should do things.  Let's stop telling people they need to change.

Let's judge ourselves and repent.  Let's focus on the callings we have and magnify them instead of wasting time judging the way other's do their callings.  Let's change ourselves.

I know that when we do this, we will see the good in others and become more Christian Christians.  We will find unity in each other and all will feel happy, loved, needed, and wanted.  Isn't that what we all want?

Please feel free to use this printable for PERSONAL USE ONLY.  For more disclaimers and policies, please see the tab up top.

My life is NOT my own...

I'd like to talk today about our lives, but first I'm going to share with you a print that I've made using this week's sketch at Inkspirational challenges.

The sketch~

Here's the print~

I hear a lot of people saying things like, "It's MY life." I'm sure I've said it myself a few times!  There's just one problem.  That's a lie.  Our lives are most definitely not our own.  We were created by a loving Heavenly Father who has given us life and everything we have. Our immortality was bought with a price--the Atonement of our Savior.  We read in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 23 that we are all bought with a price and then are commanded not to be servants of men.  Whom do we serve then?  God.

We also learn in the Book of Mormon more in depth about the huge debt of gratitude we owe our Father in Heaven.  King Benjamin, a prophet in ancient America, explains it much better than I can.  Here is what he says in Mosiah chapter 2 verses 20-25:

"I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—

I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him.

And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?

And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the earth; yet ye were created of the dust of the earth; but behold, it belongeth to him who created you."

When I read this passage of scripture, I realize how selfish I am when I choose to serve someone or something other than God.  I do this whenever I put my wishes ahead of His work that I've been asked to do.  Whenever I do not keep my covenant to follow Him and to do as my Savior would in all situations.  Whenever I feel that I need to watch the television instead of visiting the member I feel needs to feel of God's love.  Whenever I use my money to purchase things that will not help in building God's kingdom instead of paying my tithing.  The list goes on. Each sin--whether or omission or commission--is an example of how we can be an unprofitable servant. 

While none of us are perfect, I truly believe that we can all  try to serve God with our whole souls each and every day.  We do this when we repent and try to do better every step of our journey here on this earth.  We are bought with a price--do we realize what this means?  We can utilize the Atonement each and every time we prove ourselves to be unprofitable servants and then strive to do better!  The hardest part is the striving and trying to do better continually.  We are never truly repentant until we root out our sins--and this is also the only way to gain true happiness and peace in this life.  More about that in another post coming soon. :)

I am so grateful to be a servant of God.  I feel so blessed to know that I am bought by my Savior's Atonement so that I can gain eternal life if I repent continually and endure to the end.  I hope that each and every one of us will strive to do better each day and to remember and give thanks to our Father--we owe Him everything for He has given us everything.

Please feel free to use this scripture printable for PERSONAL USE ONLY.  For more information regarding printing policies and disclosures, please see the tab up top.  Happy printing!

Crying

Photo source.

I deal with a lot of crying in my line of work.  I work with children who have severe mental disabilities.  Their inability to communicate makes for some sad days and some hard lessons for them AND me, too.  It's such a rewarding job, though, and I have learned SO MUCH about the Atonement of our Savior as I've worked with these amazing kids.

So, anyway, back to crying.  We had a day where it seemed like there was non-stop crying going on in our class last week.  It was enough to drive someone mad.  I can't say for 100% certain why this child was crying, but it got me thinking about our Father in Heaven and why/when we cry to Him in prayer.  His responses make so much more sense to me as I've worked with children and been in a "parenting" role.  I'd like to share my thoughts about this with you.  I'll relate situations that have happened in my experience and then a parable of how this relates to our relationship with God as our Father.

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Situation #1: A child falls down, or is pushed down, or comes to harm in a way that is definitely not his fault.  We immediately run to the child to help them and comfort them.  Sometimes the child pushes us away or thinks they don't need us.  We still try to help them.  Sometimes the child rushes into our arms and sobs.  We allow them to calm down and help them up again.

Parable #1: Something happens in our life that  is not our fault and we get hurt--physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  We can either shun God's help and not ask Him for help (He still will try to reach out to us) or we can rush to Him in prayer and receive strength as we feel of His love.  The choice is ours.

Situation #2: A child is doing something that could hurt him unwittingly.  You tell the child to stop--he will get hurt if the behavior continues.  The child stops and we praise him.  OR, the child doesn't stop, gets hurt, and we are less quick to comfort him.

Parable #2  We are doing something that God does not approve of.  He gently chastens us to help us understand that our behavior is not worthy of a child of God.  We stop and repent--He blesses us.  OR, we don't stop and we cut ourselves off from the blessings of the Lord.

Situation #3: A child is doing something that they KNOW is wrong.  They get hurt.  We don't seem to have much sympathy for this child's crying as they knew that what they were doing was wrong.  We do not rush to their aid.  However, because we love them and they are our child, we counsel them about what they did wrong and why it is that they are unhappy.  We encourage them not to do it again.

Parable #3: We are intentionally sinning.  God cannot dwell in unholy places.  He puts warnings in place to help us to change our ways.  He sends guidance from scriptures, living prophets and church leaders.  He lets us feel sorrow in hope that this sorrow will bring us back to Him.

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I guess that I could go on and have a situation/parable about continually doing things that are harmful to us, but I think you get my drift.  So, I hope that you can see a little bit of God in your everyday life!  He is all around us and He loves us.  He is our Father and wants what is best for us.  I've recently started taking a deeper look at my life and am changing things that are not right.  Because I know that we are all human and all have things to change, I encourage you to pray and ask our Father what it is He would have you change.  I promise you'll be much happier if you take His advice!

Temple Worthy: A Definition?

I don't know about you, but this talk by Elder Scott D. Whitig really struck me and made me re-examine my life.  Just like I'm doing again now.  I made goals for myself at the beginning of the year and I am now reviewing them to make sure that they really are do-able.  I think they are. I am happier and I feel that I am learning the things that Heavenly Father wants me to, so they were all reasonable and worthy goals.  It all started with this talk, though...

Elder Whitig recounts an experience where he toured a temple that was being built with "...the Executive Director of the Temple Department, Elder William R. Walker, and his Temple Department associates."  While they went through this holy building, every now and then something small would be found out and it was noted to fix it.  In one area there was grit on the walls.  In another place, the window wasn't quite right.  Each time, the remark was made that these things were not temple standard or worthy.

Elder Whitig went back for the temple dedication some weeks after.  He noted that the walls that were noted as too gritty were covered with wallpaper and that the window was behind a large plant.  He chuckled to himself that the contractor had been tricky in how he took care of these problems.  When he brought them up later, he was told that, no, these were the plans.  The grit needed to be gone whether or not there was wallpaper.  The window was to be perfect even though the plant would obscure it.

WOW.  Did that hit you at all?  What grit is underneath my personal wallpaper?  What crooked window pane in my soul am I trying to just hide behind a plant?  This talk has made me re-examine things that I thought I was either justified in or else I thought I hid well.  Even if I hide these things to the world, I will never hide them from my Father in Heaven.  He knows all.  The quote I chose to prettify is my basic goal for 2013.

Here's the print that I made for that quote~

Please feel free to use it for PERSONAL USE ONLY.  More information about disclaimers and printing policies can be found up top under the tab.  Happy printing! :)

Journey Ramblings

Do you like the title?  It's a kind of warning to you all--I am writing this for personal reasons and it is going to get rambly and has the potential to offend.  It's me, after all!  Know that if you are reading this that I harbor no ill will towards anyone at this time and that all this genuine.  Also, this post is not going to show up on my Facebook page because I don't want people to think I'm writing to show people how "good" I think I am.  Because the only goodness I have is from God.  To HIM be all the glory.  I'm also not writing to blame or to point fingers.  No names will be mentioned in this post.  If you think you resemble these situations, perhaps it is coincidental and you shouldn't feel offended.  I'm writing this for ME.  I'm writing to remind myself NEVER to go back to where I was but to keep going forward to stay happy like I am now.

So, what did I want to write?  I want to write about how I have become happier than I have ever felt in the face of adversity and about things staying the same that I want to change while things that I wanted to stay the same changing.  Maybe that makes sense, maybe not, but that's the best way I could say it...

Anyway, there's part of the rambling, lol!  I am recovering from my first ever bout of "inactivity" that included not attending all my church meetings.  That is NOT me.  I'm serious.  Even if I've been inactive in the sense that I have plateaued and need to do better or fall back, I have NEVER purposefully not gone to church.  I did this for about seven months from August 2011 to February 2012.  I only attended sacrament meeting.  Sometimes I stayed for Sunday School, but only about two times that whole time period.  And nobody really noticed. Except my dearest friend and husband.  This is not me, as I stated before.  I have always enjoyed serving at church and especially as a visiting teacher.  I never stopped my visiting teaching--I am so glad it never got that bad.

I thought it was GREAT at first because I could study my lessons and learn by myself without those strange comments that people make that made me go "WHAT?!" in my head, and I'm sure on my face.  It happens to the best of us.  Sometimes we just make those comments, you know?  It was so much easier than sitting in class with a bunch of people who didn't even notice when I wasn't there, too.  Then I could be justified in my feelings of hatred.  Anyway, I did study my lessons and things for the first bit but then I just stopped.  I never stopped reading my scriptures and praying, just doing the other things that I knew I needed to do.

Why did I come back?  Well, I will tell you that it was for sure NOT because someone reached out and tried to help me come back.  Seriously.  Not one person really ever asked where I was or called to check up on me.  Or if they did, I am not aware of it or I was so selfish that I willed not to remember it because I wanted to be justified.  I had asked to not have visiting teachers because I have only had one sister come regularly the entire 5 years we had been in this ward and I was sick of feeling like I was not important.  I would rather know that someone wasn't coming because I personally asked them not to than to know it was because I was not important enough to pick up a phone to call.  Ever felt that way?  I bet you have. 

I bet you've also felt like I did when I cried out to God and asked Him if it could all just end because I was SO weary.  Not just tired.  Not just sad.  WEARY.  Soul crushing, head splitting, tear falling weariness that was only increased because of the sad choice that I had made to withdraw myself.  That's who really was to blame--me.

It's easy to say, "Well she should have called me" or "They should have noticed" or "He is the problem."  It's easy to think that nobody will miss you when it's been supported by the actions of those around you.  She probably "should have" called me.  But she didn't.  Doesn't excuse you.  They probably "should have" noticed.  But they didn't  Doesn't excuse you.  He might be PART of the "problem."  So what?  Doesn't excuse you.

I'm glad that nobody reached out (that I remember or am aware of--certain people did when I came back and that's usually how it goes).  Heavenly Father knew I needed to do this ALONE.  Because I'm a very strong-willed prideful daughter and He needed me to be humbled.  I thank Him for this.  It is a great blessing to me now.  Also, I realize now that people gave me space because that's what my actions had told them I wanted.  So who's to blame now?  Yep.  ME.

I also just want to put in a disclaimer really quickly--YOU SHOULD NEVER try to tell someone that they are the problem or that they need to change.  Unless you are a family member or a leader that can lovingly express the concern, you should NEVER try to convince someone that they are the problem.  Because you might be part of the problem and your trying to convince someone that they are the problem makes the problem bigger.  Speaking from an experience of a dear sister and friend of mine.  This situation really isn't me, it's someone else.  Why am I trying to convince you?!  It doesn't matter if you believe me or not, lol!  Anyway, my sweet sister and friend is sick of "being the problem."  WAKE UP you guys!  Fix your own self!  Look at me being all hypocritical in a sense.  But seriously, we need to take care of ourselves first.  Please.  Don't tell someone that they are a "problem." Each of us is needed and should feel only LOVE from us, not that we are a "problem."  Myself included, let's stop pointing fingers and fix our own selves.  We all know that we have so much to work on.  That's enough to take upon ourselves to "fix."  Fix you.  That's my goal.

I bet you're wondering why I'm telling you this.  It's because I realize now that the problem was ME.  It DOES NOT MATTER who didn't notice that I wasn't there because even though my husband did, there were others who also noticed but could not tell me because I had distanced myself from them purposefully.  God noticed.  My Savior noticed.  My family and friends who have passed on noticed.  It was because of them that I went back.  Seriously--you're thinking I'm incredibly crazy.  I kind of am...

The choice to go back was extremely hard.  I put it off month after month until one night I was laying in bed listening to my husband sleep.  I realized that if I didn't come back to church that our relationship would end when we left this life.  God only keeps covenants with us when we keep our end of the bargain.  I wasn't.  I also realized that if I didn't go back, I would NEVER see my friends and family that had passed on.  I wouldn't see my parents EVER again.  I would be alone.  I had thought that this was what I wanted.  I was stupid to believe that this choice only effected me.  It effected millions of people--some I don't even know right now.

And what about the children that we have tearfully prayed for and been anxious for?  What would have happened if we had them and I didn't feel the need to take them to church?  Our family was doomed.  Literally.  Everything rested on my one decision to go back to church.  And since I don't like to be called a wimp, I did.  With a bad attitude.

I started to help my husband teach his Primary class one week when his teaching partner hadn't shown up.  I was on medication that made it really hard for me to be restricted when I ate, drank, and went to the bathroom.  When I was asked to team teach Primary with my husband, I didn't want to do it.  I used the medication as an excuse to have to "think about it."  After a month, I grudgingly accepted.

I had a blast with the kids in our class.  But only during class time.  I found myself completely overwhelmed when we were in sharing/singing time because things were chaotic.  I am an educator by trade, and the way the children were allowed to act seriously shocked, scared, and saddened me.  I let it eat at me.  I tried to help in my way, but nothing changed.  I asked to be released shortly after school was back in session because I felt that I just could NOT handle that stress and the stress that accompanies the beginning of the school year when working with children who have severe mental disabilities.  Now I realize that this sad choice has actually become a positive turning point.  I love how God can do that for us when we finally want to sincerely repent.

The week after I was released, I seriously thought that I would start just going home after Sacrament Meeting again.  And then I remembered that sweet night when the sound of my amazing husband's breathing led me to realize the true desperation of my situation.  What did I value?  I had asked to be released of my own free will and choice.  It was MY decision.  That decision meant that I now had to attend Sunday School (that's fine) and Relief Society (UGH).  Yes, I used to hate going to Relief Society.  Not any more.

I went to Sunday School.  I almost left afterwards to go home.  I FORCED myself to stay put and sit all alone and feel miserable.  It was MY fault.  I didn't even say hi to anyone even though a few sisters did come and approach me.  I was cold, distant, and slightly rude.  I had more miles to go before happiness could show its face in my life again.

So, when did it?  When I decided that I needed to serve again.  Not in a calling, but just because that is part of the covenant I made with my Father when I was baptized.  I promised to serve those around me and to love those around me.  There were no exclusions clauses in this covenant.  It wasn't to serve and love those around me IF they loved me and served me the way I thought they should.  It wasn't to serve and love those around me IF I liked them and they were "my type of people."  It wasn't to serve and love those around me IF they didn't "use" me for my talents and then ignore me everywhere else.  It wasn't to serve and love those around me IF they were nice to me.  The covenant I made was to serve and love those around me.  PERIOD.  By the way, I do not have a calling right now (aside from being a visiting teacher) and I think that I am okay with this.  Which is also not me.  I like to be in charge...I'm working on this.

I am so glad for a few things that happened while all of this was going on.  Firstly, I got a new visiting teaching companion.  I was unhappy about it at the time because I felt that it was done to spite me and to tear me away from some very good friends.  I see now that God can be in everything that is done even if it is done for the wrong reason, or rather, what I consider to be the wrong reason.  We eventually got an route that included two sisters who are new to our ward.  Very great blessing in deed.

That is another thing I am happy for is that many new sisters and their families moved into the ward.  I reached out to them in hopes that they would have heard nothing about me and would not judge me.  Isn't that selfish?  But you know what, it lead to service for the right reason--because I love them and I want them to gain eternal happiness.  This then lead me to want to reach out to all the other sisters and their families in our ward (that I felt had wronged me, perhaps they "have" but that is no good excuse for MY behavior) because when you serve, you are filled with the love of Christ and it GROWS.  It is so wonderful!

A third thing that I am happy for is a pregnancy "scare" that turned out to be just that--a "scare."  Every October around General Conference time, I get seriously depressed because I am not pregnant and that means that I am not good enough to have children, right?  And then I don't watch General Conference because I am angry at God.  But this past October, I missed my period.  I was so excited to think we would FINALLY have a pregnancy and I just KNEW that this one would not end in miscarriage.  I was never pregnant, but I watched all of General Conference because I wasn't depressed and didn't know any differently.  And when my period came in November, I was okay with it because Heavenly Father had allowed me to feel of His love through situations that could be considered "sad."  As I type this, I am realizing that "sad" experiences can make us very happy.  Because happiness is a choice.  Having no children is bearable knowing that if I strive to keep my covenants they will come in another life.  This satisfies my hunger for motherhood in the traditional sense.

The last thing I am grateful for is all the babies being born to my friends and sisters right now.  Isn't that a crazy thing for me to be grateful for after what I just told you?  I'm grateful for it because for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I not only attended my first baby shower--I THREW IT.  I threw a baby shower because I am no longer bitter that I may never be a mother in the traditional sense this life.  I am not even "resigned" to it.  I am embracing it!

I can do SO many things that mothers of small children cannot.  I can serve them.  At a moment's notice.  I can stop what I'm doing and GO when I need to.  When that prompting comes, I can act on it without having to find a babysitter.  My husband and I can babysit for a couple with young children so that they can go a date night when they can't afford a babysitter because, in reality, any night can be date night for us.  We can help families out by watching their children for them so they can attend to other obligations.  In that we are fulfilling our role of parenthood.  We still love and seek out the Primary children even though we both no longer serve as Primary workers.  They can in a sense be our children because we taught them and can show them kindness each week we see them and listen to them and laugh and be happy because of their sweet spirits.  We can have them in our home and feel of their perfection as we play and have fun with them.

God is SO good and SO great.  He is a perfect Father with a perfect love for His imperfect daughter.  He knew how to humble her so that she could find peace and happiness.

I now can truly say with certainty and integrity that I do love all those around me.  That doesn't mean I don't get annoyed by peoples' actions or even make judgements at a split second when I hear, read, see, or am told about things.  I am working on this.  I am working on forgiving not only things people have done to me, but forgiving people of things they might do.  It also doesn't mean that everyone will believe me or think me genuine.  I might seem fake to some.  I get it.  Because I've felt the same way before.  Because we are ALL human.  That means I must try harder and smarter--I need to get on my knees and pray to know what I need to do to make this situation better.

We are all a family.  And we ALL have issues.  And we can make allowances for others.  We should make allowances for others.  Then God can make allowances for us.  And we can be happy.  We should and can choose to be happy.

Happy NOW.

Happy in the face of adversity--whether self inflicted or placed upon us because we must learn something.

Happy our whole lives.

Happy for ETERNITY.

Through the Atonement of our Savior and the mercy of a kind and loving Father in Heaven, we can be families for eternity.  We can live in love and unity.  But it takes each of us being willing to do this.  One person can't do it alone.  A few people can't start a group to "make" it happen.  We each must use our agency to create it.  And it starts in our homes.

I am SO thankful for my husband who will never stop loving and supporting me, for my parents who taught me from a young age the truth of the restored gospel, for my righteous and enduring family and friends on the other side of the veil.  Without them, I wouldn't be where I am.  I would be in my own realm of misery that I had started creating for myself or else dead.  I am not kidding about that.  I am especially thankful for the Atonement of our Savior that I have been able to utilize and KNOW I will be utilizing for the rest of my life and for a loving Father in Heaven who perfectly knows and loves me and allows me to fail so that I can learn.

I will not be allowing comments on this post.  Please feel free to email me if you wish to.  I will do my best to get back to you. :) 

Regrets

I know that we all have regrets from our life time.  Okay, I know that I do.  I can't speak for you.  Elder Uchtdorf's talk really hit home for me and I realized that living with regrets should be something that teaches you to be better.  We should learn from our mistakes and not continually make the same ones over and over thinking we can just repent each time.  Repentance is sincere change, not feeling sorry for a bit then going and performing the same sinful act again. 

I LOVE this statement that Elder Uchtdorf makes~

Isn't that simple perfection?  It's so easy.  Living the gospel can be SO EASY!

I was talking to my husband recently about how I am trying to do better at treating others the way the Savior would.  After one such incident, he told me that he was proud of me for trying to work with difficult people.  You know what I told him--because this is what I had realized--I am the only one being difficult. 

I am the one who decides how difficult to make a situation.  I am the only one who makes myself sad.  I am the only one who can make me happy.  I am the only one who can choose to rise above whatever I perceive is going on and choose to treat others as children of God anyway. 

This attitude shift has really effected my life and has made me so incredibly happy.  I hope that as we continue on the path set out by our Savior that we will see an increase in our happiness and peace.  I know that we will find both if we are doing all we can to live a righteous life.  I also know that when we follow the Savior, we will be able to live a regret free life and return spotless to our heavenly home.

Please feel free to use my print FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY.  More disclaimers and policies about printing can be found under the tab above.  Happy printing! :)  And stay tuned...there are more General Conference prints to come! :)

Teaching Tykes: The Pitfall of Rewarding Sad Choices and How to Fix the Problem

So, I was released on Sunday from being a primary teacher.  BUT, I'll still be posting gospel teaching tips each Tuesday that I can get around to it and you may see lesson helps every now and then since my DH was not released.  This week, though, we'll just talk about some gospel teaching tips as we have Stake Conference and my DH doesn't have to teach on Sunday.

Before I start, though, I want you to know that I still want to hear from you!!!  If you're having issues and want some advice, I am more than willing to try and help you out if you're at your wits end!  Just email me and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can!  Hope to hear from you soon!!!

Think this is wishful thinking?  It doesn't have to be!

 Ooookay, so that said, I want to talk about a pet peeve of mine--when people reward sad choices in others.  It's a pitfall.  It will make bad behavior worse.  It ruins trust you may have had with other class members and creates a chaotic atmosphere.  In conclusion, it is extremely counter productive.

If you'd like an example, then I will give you one.  Let's say that you have a child in your class that will not sit in their chair and continually gets up and tries to run out of the room.  This is neither appropriate nor safe.  What do you do?  You could just allow the child to leave the room and do whatever it is they want to.  Doing this shows the child that they are in control and don't have to follow the rules.  You could even take it one step further and allow them to participate in something fun that technically you should have chosen another child who was behaving appropriately to do.  This tells the other children in your class that sad choices are what gets them attention and that this is the behavior you'll reward.  End result to these inappropriate responses?  Extremely dysfunctional class times with inappropriate behavior from all the children present.  You've taught the kids that you are not in control and that they can do whatever they want to and that you will reward sad choices.  Counter productive to what you should be teaching them.  I'm not saying to never choose that child to participate.  I'm saying that they will have to give you a large amount of time behaving appropriately before you will reward their behavior.  This is part of teaching children the repentance process as well.

So, what should you do instead?  The appropriate response would be to continually instruct the child to sit in their chair and help them to it if needed.  If there is a rule that you have to act nicely to be called on to participate, this child should not be chosen.  If they throw a fit, remind them that if they want to be chosen to participate, they need to make happy choices.  The result?  The child who was behaving inappropriately understands that there are rules and boundaries in your class.  They will push the limits a few more times but you need to be consistent.  They will see that no matter what, there is structure in your class and that they can count on it to be a safe environment.  The other students who behave appropriately will be rewarded accordingly and will continue to act in a safe and orderly manner. 

Okay, have I made myself clear? ;)  What happens when you reward sad choices?  MORE sad choices.  What happens when you have expectations and reward happy choices?  MORE happy choices and an orderly classroom. 

Where did I learn this?  From the scriptures--"Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence." 2 Nephi 1:20.  The Lord rewards us when we make good/happy choices.  He does not reward poor/sad choices.  Period.  No exceptions.  No excuses.  We CAN do it.  So can the children in our class--but we have to have expectations before this can happen.  YOU can do it!  I hope you take the time to think about this and how you can utilize it in your homes/callings/lives.  I know that you will be happier if you do!  See you again soon! :)

Mynnette's Musings: Dirty Dishes

The Parable of the Dirty Dishes

 

                My husband and I were so very excited to move into our first home!  It was everything we could wish for, except one thing I was really not happy about.  There wasn’t a dishwasher!  All of our dishes would have to be cleaned by hand.  We were determined never to have dirty dishes in the sink for longer than a day.  We did quite well the first few days, but soon work, church callings, basically life took over and we let the dishes go for a day.  About 3 days past, and I found myself standing in front of a giant mound of dishes. Dishes don’t just disappear—they’re always there to be dealt with. I was so upset!  I had such good intentions!  And they were all for naught, because I had failed.

                As I started to wash all the dishes, I became impatient and cleaned quickly instead of thoroughly.  I ended up having to go back and rewash some dishes that did not get fully clean.  It took many hours to finish the job and I was exhausted by the end of my experience.  We did eventually have enough money to buy a portable dish washer and I cannot tell you how happy I was to be rid of the dishes quicker and more efficiently!

                This is how repentance is.  Sin is always there.  There is no way to get away from it.  If we repent each day of the little things we do, our pile doesn’t become too large to clean!  If we take care of each mistake as it occurs, we will have less to worry about.  If we let ourselves go and wait, thinking we have time to do the dishes later, our pile becomes overwhelming and we feel like we can’t repent.  We will try to repent half-heartedly and end up costing ourselves more grief and pain than if we had repented fully in the first place.  And best of all, if we continue to seek to make the Savior’s Atonement part of our life, He becomes our dishwasher and makes it easier for us to become clean again!

                I pray that we will turn our hearts to the Lord and continually repent each day so that we may stand blameless in the last day and come before our Father and our Savior with clean hands a pure heart!

Related scriptures: Joshua 24:15, Psalms 119:60, Proverbs 3:28, Isaiah 22:13, Matthew 24:44, Mark 13:36, Luke 12:47, Luke 21:24, Alma 5:29-31, Alma 13:27, Helaman 13:29-38, 3 Nephi 8:24, D&C 6:3, D&C 33:17, D&C 64:25, D&C 88:83.

Mynnette's Musings: Where am I going?!

The Dual Parable of Augusta, KS

 

                One afternoon I received a call from the sister missionaries serving our ward to ask a favor.  They were in need of a ride from their residence in Haysville, KS to Arkansas City, KS to complete splits with the sisters in that area.  The distance between the two cities is 30 miles. 

Sister Nelson, Sister Reynolds, and I started out from Haysville and, guided by Sister Reynolds as to how to get to her residence, arrived there safely about 45 minutes after leaving Haysville.  Hugs were exchanged and goodbyes were said as Sister Clark replaced Sister Reynolds in our car for the journey back to Haysville. 

We left Ark City confident that we were on the right track and knew our way home.  About 5 minutes into our journey, we received a call from Sister Reynolds asking if we knew our way back.  We assured her that we were confident in our knowledge of how to get back home.  We continued on, talking about the gospel and having a wonderful time. 

We came to the end of the road we were on and I realized that because we had missed a turn, we had ended up in Augusta, KS, some 40 miles north and east of our intended destination.  I reassured the sisters that I knew how to get back, as I have friends who live in Augusta.  I also told them I was confident that I knew the quickest way back. 

Instead of heeding a feeling that I had to continue to a major road, I took the first left turn that I knew to be a quicker way back southwest.  Upon coming to the crossroads where I needed to turn, we found a sign that told us that construction work was being done on the road and we had to turn back. 

I made an executive decision to take a dirt road leading us west so that we would not have to go all the way back to the highway we had left.  It was a bumpy, dirty and sometimes scary journey to travel that dirt road in a minivan.  I had to be very careful not to go too fast, not to hit potholes and not to hit other cars traveling the opposite direction.

We finally arrived at our intended destination, Haysville, 1 ½ hours later than planned.  The sisters had just enough time to go inside and discard their items before we again hit the road and went to their dinner appointment.

When I got home, feeling a bit foolish, I decided to ponder on what I could have done differently in the situation.  I realized that Sister Reynolds had had a prompting from the Spirit to call us and we should have heeded that prompting as she did in making sure we knew where we were going.  I also realized that had I listened to her then, we would not have ended up in Augusta. 

The other lesson I learned was that I do not always know the correct way back and should listen to the Spirit, who does.  If I would have heeded the prompting I had to go to a major road instead of taking my shortcut, we would have arrived still late, but not as late as we did.

This is how our lives sometimes turn out.  We are on a course that we feel is the right path for us.  While on this course, we may receive counsel from parents or leaders asking us if we need help or giving us suggestions.  We have the agency to choose whether or not to accept this counsel—and we should!  If we don’t, we end up very far away from where we should be. 

If we then realize that we should have listened, we have the opportunity to repent.  The Spirit will guide us to the fastest way to repent, and we should heed it.  If we do not, we end up with another road block in our way, having to turn around once more.  We will end up treading a much more difficult road in order to not have to back track to the beginning of where we realized we went wrong. 

Oh, may we always listen to those righteous friends who have our best interests at heart!  May we be open to the Spirit’s guiding influence to help us back when we stray so that we may one day live again with our Father in Heaven and our Savior in perfect happiness.

Related scriptures: Jacob 4:7, Ether 12:27, Mark 13:33, 1 Corinthians 10:12, 1 Nephi 15:25, Alma 12:9, D&C 21:4, D&C 84:43, D&C 93:48, Deuteronomy 7:12, Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 23:22, 2 Nephi 8:1, 2 Nephi 9:29, Alma 5:38, 3 Nephi 28:34, Exodus 19:5, Exodus 20:12, Leviticus 26:3&21, Deuteronomy 20:30, Joshua 24:24, 1 Samuel 15:22, Ecclesiastes 12:13, Zechariah 6:15, Luke 11:28, John 7:17, John 15:10, Acts 5:29, Psalms 38:18, Proverbs 28:13, Isaiah 55:17, Ezekiel 16:61, Matthew 3:2-11, Luke 13:3, 2 Corinthians 7:10, 2 Peter 3:9, 2 Nephi 2:21, Jacob 3:3, Alma 5:31, 3 Nephi 9:22, D&C 18:13, D&C 58:43, Moses 6:57.

Linking to: Tell Me a Story