The Side of Self Reliance We Don't Talk About

I'm back.  I know, it's always a long time in between posts.  Not many of them get read, anyway, so I don't really feel that guilty about it. ;)  I've had a lot of time to think about some things that have been bothering me, and yesterday constituted the "last straw", if you will.  I think it's time we get nitty gritty about the side of self reliance we don't want to talk about.  It probably isn't at all what you're thinking...here it goes.

Merriam Webster defines self reliance as "reliance on one's own efforts and abilities."  This definition is preached from the pulpit, used to guilt people into shame for not being perfect, spoken in derision to those who have less that others and are considered "lazy".  This is NOT the side of self reliance that I want to talk about.  I think we all get that.

The side of self reliance that I would like to discuss is the side that involves covenants.  When you are baptized, you are making a covenant with God that you will do what Jesus would do. We covenant that we "are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:9).  Basically, this means that part of being self reliant, aka keeping covenants, is to help others as they struggle to do the same.  We cannot just sit and look down on those who are having a hard time and do nothing.  We cannot expect for them to just lift themselves up with absolutely no help.  

WE are the Savior's hands on the Earth.  We COVENANTED to be so.  If we won't help, nobody will help.  This means that the Atonement is not able to be fully utilized in the lives of those who are struggling.  That will be counted against us, especially if we have ignored promptings from the Spirit.

Now, some may say that people should tell us when they need help, and tell us specifics.  I reject that assumption.  If we are keeping our covenants, aka being self reliant, then we have the Spirit to guide us.  Following the Spirit's promptings is part of being self reliant.  When we expect others to tell us what to do, then we are NOT being self reliant.  Doctrine & Covenants 58:26 states, "For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward."  When we do nothing, we gain nothing.

Again, some may say that their service is not wanted or appreciated.  I say, so what?  Neither was the Savior's service.  Even His greatest gift, the Atonement, goes unwanted and unappreciated on a daily basis.  Are we any better than He?  Absolutely not.  ANYTIME we do good, it is counted for our good with God.  Anytime we do nothing, especially after we are prompted, it will be counted against us.  

One last excuse I have heard is the time thing.  You know, the "I don't have time to do my own thing, let alone help others do theirs!" thing.  I reject this, as well.  There is plenty of time to do what God expects of us.  He makes it possible.  If we don't ever seem to have time, it is a priorities issue, not a time issue.

I'm not saying that any of us will be 100% perfect about acting on promptings, especially when it's towards someone we know will take it the wrong way, I'm just saying that's not really an excuse to do nothing.  Same with the time excuse.  When we trust God, there will be time and there will be good will.  I hold myself responsible for this, as well.  It's my motivation to ACT when prompted, even when it's hard.  I'm not perfect at this, but I am trying.

Well, those are my thoughts for today.  I leave you with a question--how self reliant are you really?  I know that I will be thinking about this and changing my life accordingly.  It will be specific for each of us, but I invite you to join me!  

Act Now, or Forever Hold Your Peace

Okay, so looking at the title, just know I was trying to be clever and it probably failed.  But, there you have it! ;)  I have had some major life changing events happen over the past few months and so I wanted to share what I have learned.  I won't be going into detail about what led me to the knowledge, just let this sink in and think about it.

I think that in a world where uncertainty is a common feeling, we lack the courage to act.  I'm talking on a daily basis.  Raise your hand if you've ever thought or felt one of these things:

1. If I go and talk to that person, they might think I'm crazy.
2. I should call them, but what if they take it the wrong way?
3. It's easier to do nothing, then there will be no conflict.
4. I'll just ignore it.  It will go away.
5. If I decide to say what I really think, what will others think about me?

Okay, so how many things?  If it's even just one, I hope to inspire you to change your though process today!  Even if you don't believe everything I write, I hope that you learn something that changes your perspective and helps you grow.  Let's break these down one by one.  Here are my arguments for action:

1. You're not crazy, right?  Or, aren't we all a little crazy?!  What if they truly needed someone to just recognize and notice that they were there?  We all need to be seen.  Go and connect!
2. Are your intentions good?  Is it your desire to do good?  Then even if they take your service the wrong way, it will be counted to your benefit.  God can only bless those who act.  Bless yourself as you bless others?
3. Without conflict, there is not growth.  Moving forward means embracing the conflict and finding a resolution.  If both parties do nothing, nothing changes.  You're right--if you're the only one willing to change, the relationship does not change.  But you do.  Be willing to change yourself--you can't make a difference without starting with you!
4. Ignoring things don't make them disappear.  Unkind feelings, that mess in your room, the feeling that you aren't well--those do not just disappear because you ignore it.  They can get worse.  Doing nothing is the antithesis of growth.  Stagnant water, it's not drinkable.  Be the water that cleanses--cleanse your life!
5. Who cares?  Honestly.  I'm not being trite, but who cares?  What if there was one, just ONE, person who needed to hear your opinion.  Your life matters.  Your opinion matters.  We live in a world where we need diversity, yet it isn't truly tolerated or valued.  Be the one and only you--the right person/people will benefit!

And that's all for now.  I'm sorry that I'm still up in the air about posting.  I am trying to fit it all in and so my thoughts blog gets the brunt of it.  I do make lists of topics that I want to write about, so stay tuned!  One day they'll be here for you to read. ;)

False Prophets, Sometimes Known as Friends

There was an interesting conversation going on recently about false prophets and our need to stay away from them.  I understand that many people in leadership positions can lead people astray, but I think that in order to avoid false prophets, we need to know what the term really means.  I believe it's more than those in power leading their followers astray.  I think it happens on a daily basis in our lives if we are not careful.

I find the verse I used in my header very insightful.  It comes from The Book of Mormon in 3 Nephi 14:15.  The full verse reads, "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." If we think about this verse, a false prophet is just someone who really doesn't want what is best for you.  Do you let these people into your life?  Are you one of these people?

There are a few ways that people act as false prophets in our lives and we allow it, as well as ways we act as false prophets to others.  This is something that I am working on now ever since I had this thought.  Here are some ways I believe we or other people act as false prophets that we might not consider:

1. Supporting each other in unkind feelings.
2. Telling someone they would be justified in abusive acts, whether emotional, verbal, or physical.
3. Laughing at actions that are not funny.  I'm not talking about someone tripping and they start the laughing, I'm talking laughing at a sarcastic comment that was made after someone tried to bear their soul.  Or laughing at a joke that was told in bad taste.  You get the drift.
4. Expressing blanket statements as if they are truth for everyone.  We all have our own journey, worry about yours more than others.
5. Refusing to see the other side of a story.

I could go on, but these are the things I've been thinking of lately.  There is a reason why these constitute actions of false prophets.  It's because they are perpetuating false doctrines and are not Christlike.  False prophets speak false principles.

Now, I'm not sitting here judging others from some castle where I feel that I am better than others.  I fall into these same issues at times in my life as well.  The question is, what can we do about it?  I think the answer is simple to state, but hard to truly put into action.  The answer is this: Love One Another.

That's all for me today.  I've disabled comments again because this post is meant for reflection.  If you'd like to email me your thoughts, you may do so.  I'll be back soon with another post!