Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Word Art Wednesday: 1 Samuel 1:27

This week's scripture at WAW is 1 Samuel 1:27. This was a little hard for me to utilize, but I'm proud that I trucked though it and made something anyway. My DH and I have been trying for almost 8 years now to have a child to no avail. We did foster care for a year in hopes of adopting. It was too stressful and I almost, literally, had a heart attack, so we stopped doing foster care. We've prayed and the answer is always the same--be happy where you are, it's not time. I've recently felt prompted to take medication to help me ovulate and get pregnant, but to no avail.

And you know what? It's okay. I'm finally at peace for the first time in YEARS about this. I realize that I can do so many things without kids that I couldn't do if I had them. I can leave and go help someone without having to find a babysitter. My husband and I can go out for ice cream any time we'd like to and not have to work around a sleeping child. Does this sound selfish? I'm sorry if it does, but I'm happy. And I'm glad that God knows what is best for ME. I know that IF I'm meant to have children, it's in God's time. So, I'm good right now. :)

Don't get me wrong. There are still days that I want to break down and cry because I just saw a news story about a child who died due to negligence or abuse and I ache. Because I would have protected that child. I would have loved that child. I would have provided what that child needed. There are days when I'm so angry that I can barely focus on anything but my anger towards others who complain about the ONE THING I've wanted for years and can't have. But I digress...

Here's some more background on why me being happy most of the time is so incredibly miraculous. I am the oldest of 9 children. I am a planner. I've had plans on what would happen to my siblings and I if my parents died from the time I was about 8. Things go the way I plan. I am reliable and ALWAYS over plan. I'm never late. I do what I say I'll do. All of my plans, hopes, and dreams have come to fruition. Except having 6 children with the man I love. We have the names chosen. We have the room in our home. I even have a nursery set up. Yep, that's right. A nursery. Ready for anything! So, being at peace about this is a huge deal.

So, there you have it. It was kind of hard to even type this. I'm hoping for all positive feedback--I DO NOT want pity. I just want you to understand that I understand that God knows what is best for ME and I'm finally at peace with it. :) If you're still reading, you rock! If not, oh, well. I'm not offended!

Okay, so here's what I came up with~

I did a boy and a girl so that I can frame it if or when I have a child. I love the story of Hannah and Samuel. Samuel is one of the names we have chosen if we have a boy--I had a brother who died who was going to be named Samuel. I love the story of Sarah and Abraham and Isaac. I LOVE that God provides for all of His children! Thanks to the lovely ladies at WAW for a literally challenging challenge--I love it! :)

Oh, and BTW, the prints are yours for free--just click it to enlarge, save and then print it! :)


xinme said...

Oh, Mynnette -- I so hear your heart and can absolutely relate! God's plan IS more perfect than any you could make for yourself. Even childlessness when the heart cries for motherhood is a blessing because it draws our hearts closer to God. I know it's hard, but press on knowing that He loves you dearly.

Thank you for your sweet words on my blog today. You really made my day!

Karen Letchworth said...

Hi Mynnette! Well, your work is always a treat to see. Thanks for linking up and playing along in this week's challenge at Word Art Wednesday. We wish you luck, and hope that you will play along again next week and join in the blog hop on February 9. We're so blessed to have you join us!
Karen L - Social Media Coordinator
Word Art Wednesday

Becky said...

Hi Mynnette, what a touching story. I too wanted children, I am adopted so it was very important to have blood of my blood, after many years of praying I had 7 sons, 6 went with the Lord and one He granted for me to raise. Losing the first began a powerful journey of faith.

Beautiful creation. Thank you for sharing this with us at Word Art Wednesday.

This Art That Heals said...

Mynette, thank you for sharing your art and pressing through to share your heart.
Thank you for sharing this with us at my Word Art Wednesday challenge. We look forward to seeing more of your art.

Have a great day.

Mei Ann Guerrero said...

Hi Mynnette,
These arts are beautiful!
Like you, my hubby and I have been trying to conceive for the last 16 years - I feel your heart! God is so good that in the absence of little kids in the house, He blessed us with a wonderful and happy marriage. Like you said, in God's time our wishes will be granted. In the meantime, there's a lot of things we can do to share the love and care we have in our hearts for other kids who need them!
Thanks for sharing your story and thanks too for your sweet words on my blog.
By the way {coincidence?}, Hannah is the name we have in mind for so long if we will be blessed with a little girl!
Have a fantastic weekend,
Mei Ann

Jess said...

I love these! You have such a good heart and so many talents. You are in my thoughts and prayers often. Thank you for sharing this.

Hugs for you!