And you know what? It's okay. I'm finally at peace for the first time in YEARS about this. I realize that I can do so many things without kids that I couldn't do if I had them. I can leave and go help someone without having to find a babysitter. My husband and I can go out for ice cream any time we'd like to and not have to work around a sleeping child. Does this sound selfish? I'm sorry if it does, but I'm happy. And I'm glad that God knows what is best for ME. I know that IF I'm meant to have children, it's in God's time. So, I'm good right now. :)
Don't get me wrong. There are still days that I want to break down and cry because I just saw a news story about a child who died due to negligence or abuse and I ache. Because I would have protected that child. I would have loved that child. I would have provided what that child needed. There are days when I'm so angry that I can barely focus on anything but my anger towards others who complain about the ONE THING I've wanted for years and can't have. But I digress...
Here's some more background on why me being happy most of the time is so incredibly miraculous. I am the oldest of 9 children. I am a planner. I've had plans on what would happen to my siblings and I if my parents died from the time I was about 8. Things go the way I plan. I am reliable and ALWAYS over plan. I'm never late. I do what I say I'll do. All of my plans, hopes, and dreams have come to fruition. Except having 6 children with the man I love. We have the names chosen. We have the room in our home. I even have a nursery set up. Yep, that's right. A nursery. Ready for anything! So, being at peace about this is a huge deal.
So, there you have it. It was kind of hard to even type this. I'm hoping for all positive feedback--I DO NOT want pity. I just want you to understand that I understand that God knows what is best for ME and I'm finally at peace with it. :) If you're still reading, you rock! If not, oh, well. I'm not offended!
Okay, so here's what I came up with~
I did a boy and a girl so that I can frame it if or when I have a child. I love the story of Hannah and Samuel. Samuel is one of the names we have chosen if we have a boy--I had a brother who died who was going to be named Samuel. I love the story of Sarah and Abraham and Isaac. I LOVE that God provides for all of His children! Thanks to the lovely ladies at WAW for a literally challenging challenge--I love it! :)
Oh, and BTW, the prints are yours for free--just click it to enlarge, save and then print it! :)